Jolie Guillebeau

I’m stuck. I’ve been stuck for awhile. There, I’ve said it. That wasn’t so bad.

Soooo many things in my life changed this Spring. We moved and everything rearranged itself (or exploded into oblivion) and I feel like my brain is just catching up. So a brief synopsis for those of you who missed the play by play.

February: Move to Portland with 30 seconds, 2 days, 2 weeks notice.
March: Chris travels, Jolie looks for job. Jolie finds nothing– her self-esteem plummets. But she keeps painting.
April: Overwhelmed, angry and sad. Paintings bad, jobs non-existent.

Breakthrough Moment! Jolie remembers that she’s a  blabberer, incapable of  thinking without speaking verbal processor. And since she stopped journaling, and all her friends are in Seattle, she realizes she hasn’t done anything but pout and mope processed  anything.

Jolie realizes that the only way out of this mess is through ink. Meaning, she starts writing– almost constantly. She writes about her life, finds her dreams again and begins to figure out herself in this new place with new stuff. She makes a dreamboard, visits Seattle friends, chats with a very wise friend, goes on a vacation with her husband and generally starts to collect herself– she also gets a job. A job that gives her absolutely everything she asked for in a job.

May: Yay! Vacation, Chris’s site goes viral, and a job. But why no painting? What’s that? Oh. Fear. Ok, well I’ll make a pie.

June: Another vacation, more job, and more processing. I realize that I need to go back to what I really love about painting, so I start sketching people on the bus, playing with watercolors and give myself a mental break from the easel.

And I keep writing.
Last Friday, I listen to a very smart lady talk about Martha Beck’s Change Cycle. In this book, which I’ve read and even blogged about, Martha Beck breaks change down to four stages or squares.

Square One: Death and Rebirth
Square Two: Dreaming and Scheming
Square Three: The Hero’s Saga
Square Four: The Promised Land

You should go read the book yourself, but basically each square is really important to the process of change. Square one is all about what happens after a major event of change, what Beck calls a “catalytic event.” You know, like changing jobs, or moving out of state, or all of the above. You’re bewildered and confused and pissed maybe a little angry. The mantra of square one is, “I don’t know what the hell is going on, and that’s ok.”

As I listened to Pam (the very smart lady) speak about this, I realized– I’ve been in Square One. Of course! Death and Rebirth! Why didn’t I think of this before?

The good news is that Square Two: Dreaming and Scheming is just around the corner, I think. And perhaps there’s painting involved. I’ll keep you posted. July is looking up.

** Oh, and the winner of the contest (according to Random.org) is Michelle!
Michelle wrote:

“I already heart you in etsy and love how you include little water colors with your jewelry! Laurelhurst Earrings in Red is one of my favorite! I would love to win and show off your art to my friends!”

Michelle, don’t forget to send me your address and I’ll ship Radishes out to you ASAP! Yay!

The giveaway was really fun, so I think I’m going to make it a tradition. I’ll keep you posted on that, too!

Rachelle posted her 8 Things list today, and I loved it. I started to post mine in the comments, but it was getting too long, so I decided to post my own list here.

She asks:

“So, what *8 Songs connect you to the Divine? Songs that aren’t classically “religious” or “church music” but create a harmonic bridge to all things holy. Songs that soothe the soul. Songs that encourage and shore you up. Songs that connect you to something bigger and beyond, or more deeply and truly to the here/now. What songs are just Good Medicine? Do tell…and if you have time link us to online versions and youtube videos, just for fun. Here’s my list of *8 Songs for the Soul.“

My list is heavy on songs from the seventies, and I had trouble narrowing it down… but here’s what I came up with off the top of my head…

1. Billy Joel “Just the Way You Are”
2. Dan Fogelberg, “Longer“
3. The Weepies, “All this Beauty“
4. Joni Mitchell, “Both Sides Now“
5. Marc Cohn, “Live out the String“
6. Jason Mraz, “Live High“
7. Rent Soundtrack, “Seasons of Love“
8. John Mayer, “Quiet“

If I could list more than 8, I’d probably include songs from The Mamas and The Papas, James Taylor, Johnny Cash, Brett Dennen, Pablo Nutini, Bach, and perhaps the Sound of Music (because I’m a dork like that…)

I was going to try to explain my reasons for each of these, but got sidetracked by finding all the YouTube videos, so you’ll just have to listen and find your own connection to the Divine.

Karen’s site is beautiful. Her photos are stunning, her words are insightful and timely and she’s just all around inspiring. You should go look.

Her post today (timely as ever) got me thinking. What have I done for myself lately? I can think of lots of things I’ve done in the past– fought my way in to art classes, finished college on my own, stopped teaching to figure out what I really wanted to do with my life, moved to Africa.

And even in the recent past I finished a painting program, made myself a quilt from all those hideous African dresses, and even finished 30 of those things in my 30th year (rode in a hot air balloon! went to New York City alone! learned to tie my shoes!).

But lately… um. Coming up blank.

I think this is something I need to fix.

Radishes, 9×12, Oil on Masonite

This painting can be yours… I’m having a little contest as part of the Stone Soup Challenge.

All you have to do is go to my Etsy shop, look around and choose your favorite piece, then come back here and leave a comment telling me what you like best. On June 30th, I’ll randomly select a comment and that person can hang this little painting in their home.

I can’t wait to see who wins!